I lost my friend Onyinye to maternal mortality. I did not know she had died until a month and a few days after. I remember when she had Naeto. She wanted me to be there for his christening but i couldn't make it. I had a lot going on at that time. This was the second time I was not able to show up for Onyinye. Her wedding at Festac town, now Naeto's christening. I wasn't a present friend. I should have tried.
One day in December 2017, I received the saddest news of my life. I was just prepping for my journey to the NYSC camp in Iyana-Ipaja. I got the news and it felt like the walls were closing in on me, the air around me felt thin. I begged God. I wanted it to be a lie but he had died. The kidnappers shot him and threw him in the river. I shivered at the thought of his last minutes on earth and how dreadful it must have been for him. Oh! poor one. It was time to check my bags. The security man at the entrance thought I was unenthusiastic about being posted to Lagos unlike my mates who had the joy and brags of serving in Lagos. You should be happy you were posted to Lagos he said. The whole bag inspection felt like a century and a while but it didn't take that long. I suppose the 2minutes check was too much for me. Audible words felt like whispers, I was lost in thoughts for the most part of my registration process. It took me a whole week to settle into camp meanwhile I was one of the the first 50 people to get into camp. Life in camp from day one was miserable. I wanted to enjoy it but I couldn't. I wanted to go back home but no one was home.
I watched life in slow motion, read smiles and laughs with no emotions. The choice to be numb. I knew it was wrong. I fought myself and thought I am human but then this grieve froze the very things that made me human. After so many days of reluctantly trying to get my NYSC kit and I.D. Card, I read a smile I could understand it was sitting on the face of a beautiful angel. She walked up to me and said you need to do your medicals today at the clinic. It is the final stage. I can show you a doctor that would help you speed up the process. She is Onyi. Her words brought healing, strength and warmth to my soul. Her gap tooth was like mine. Her smiles were so bright and wide.
You are in platoon 7, I am in platoon 3, what is your name? These words and the gesticulations that followed are still fresh in my memory. We talked all night after our first conversation. I didn't believe myself, I didn't believe I had opened up to a complete stranger. She was the first human to ever hear me recite a spoken word. She sat there in the dark, under the moon at the middle of the parade ground and watched me present "In Your 20's". My solo audience. She cheered me on and said that was good.
Why was it so easy to talk to you and open up about the things I was going through? I would think about this and question how selfless she was to me. She changed my perception about life, death, grief and love. She wasn't rich in cash but she gave me lots of love, affection, attention and hugs. These are riches money can't buy. I would give anything just to see Onyi smile and laugh one last time. Just to be there for her as she was for me in my dark days.
Life after camp was a struggle for both of us. Entering into the world of work, relationships, family and Lagos living made it hard to keep in touch but Whatsapp came through on most days. I remember how we use to look forward to the general CDS at Surulere. I remember when I went for holiday in Chicago and Onyi was so sad she couldn't see me that month at Surulere. I came back bearing gifts and this madam had already carried belle for her husband. Ah! I saw Onyi one last time with her round belly....Onyinye you too like man. Now man pikin has killed my friend o. Shame on you! Shame on you oh death.
For countless days I cried and
prayed for amazing grace.
As the days sailed into months
The times I dreaded took turns and left
Onyinye is gone but;
Her mark is left in the sands of time, in the heart of her loved ones (Naeto and Husband), in this heart of mine.
Rest In Peace Baby Girl.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
This poem below is dedicated to my beloved Onyinye Blessing Uchendu. Instagram saw it first.
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